Legally Blonde Blurb: Legally Blonde and sperm donor rights “Legally Blonde”  is a classic fish-out-of-water comedy following Elle Woods, played by Reese Witherspoon, an irrepressible sorority girl who enrolls at Harvard Law School and overturns everyone’s expectations. So what does that have to do with sperm donation? The fictional case of Swinney v. Neubert In one early classroom scene, Professor Stromwell asks the class to consider the case of a sperm donor seeking parental rights. Elle Woods’ ex-boyfriend, Warner Huntington, responds: “According to Swinney vs. Neubert ; Swinney, who was also a private sperm donor, was allowed visitation rights as long as he came to terms with the hours set forth by the parents. So, if we’re sticking to past precedent, I mean, Mr. Latimer wasn’t stalking. He was clearly within his rights to ask for visitation.”  Elle challenges this analysis responding: “Well, unless the defendant attempted to contact every single one-night stand to determine if a child resulted in those unions, he has no parental claim over this child whatsoever. Why now? Why this sperm?” Although not enunciated by Elle, she may be taking the position that if a donor contractually waived all parental rights, he would not be entitled to visitation rights. Legal Analysis of sperm donor rights: While Elle gained the professor’s praise with this exchange, we are not so convinced by her reasoning. Generally, whether a donor seeks to establish paternity or visitation on all their donations or just a select number should not determine the merit of their claim. Swinney v. Newbert  is a fictional case, and not likely to be a first year law school question, but there are real life corollaries to this exchange, namely, whether the intent at the time of conception controls forever, or if conduct after the donation may subsequently override a valid gamete donation agreement.  Early U.S. donor parentage cases Before states began developing laws that addressed the rights of gamete donors, the courts had to tackle these issues first. In general, all 50 United States have a presumption that if a child is born in a heterosexual marriage, the husband and wife and the parents. When there was not a marriage, unwed fathers have been found to have due process rights to seek parentage when they demonstrate a full commitment to parenting responsibilities. (See Lehr. v. Robertson , 463 US 248 (1983)). The first reported case to address a known sperm donor’s rights was the 1977 New Jersey case of C.M. v. C.C. , the mother used an at-home insemination kit and there was no written contract between the parties. The donor sought to establish parental rights. The court found that because it was in the child’s best interest to have two parents if possible; there was no one else to assume responsibilities of fatherhood except for him; and he actively participated in insemination, he should be considered the legal parent and was granted visitation rights despite the mother’s opposition. This is an unhappy result for many, but fortunately some states have developed case law or statutes that protect the parties from a donor seeking parental rights or a parent seeking child support against a donor. The Jason P. v. Danielle S. case  Jason P. v. Danielle S. is a recent case that involves a sperm donor who sought to establish parental rights. It reminds us of the fictional Sweeny v. Niebert in Legally Blonde , because it examines whether a sperm donor can have a right to parent a child when he initially agreed to be only a donor.  Under California law, a sperm donor who donates sperm to a physician or a licensed fertility clinic for assisted reproduction is treated as not the natural parent of the child conceived “unless otherwise agreed to in writing signed by the donor and the woman prior to the conception.” (Family Code 7613(b)). However, California Family Code Section 7611(d) defines a person to be presumed to be the natural parent if “ the presumed parent receives the child into their home and openly holds out the child as their natural child.” In Jason P. , the California Court of Appeal decided whether Jason P. qualified as a sperm donor defined in Cal. Family Code Section 7613(b) and was unable to establish presumed parenthood using Section 7611(d). The answer is surprising.  Jason and Danielle were an on-and-off couple (Jason actually being Lost Boys and Speed 2 actor Jason Patric), and Jason agreed in writing to donate sperm to Danielle. Jason deposited sperm at a fertility clinic and Danielle used his sperm for IVF. Although they filled out consent forms at the IVF clinic prior to conception, which listed Jason as an intended parent, the clinic’s consent documents were not enough to satisfy the “in writing”  requirement in Section 7613(b) where the donor and mother agree the donor will be treated as a natural parent. The trial court found that this was the end of his claim to parentage.  However, the Court of Appeal interpreted Section 7613(b) as only precluding “a sperm donor from establishing paternity based on biological connection to the child” ( 226 Cal.App .4th 167 (Cal. Ct. App. 2014)).  Jason argued his actions after the birth of the child establish parentage instead of only using biological connection and could establish paternity under Section 7611.  The appeals court agreed that Jason could in fact show he was a presumed father to the child, not because of his biological connection but because of facts which showed his commitment to the wellbeing of the child.  Danielle and the child would frequently visit and stay in Jason’s home in New York. He presented evidence of his relationship with the child where the child refers to him as “Dada.” In the end, this was enough to send the case back to the trial court where it did find that Jason was a presumed father, and entitled to parental rights. A long custody battle followed and a second appeals court decision in 2017  found that the trial court correctly found parentage based on his actions to accept his role as a parent, not his genetic contribution.  Comparison and Takeaways: In the fictional Sweeney v. Newbert sperm donation case, Elle asks “Why now? Why this sperm?” as to why the donor could assert parental rights to one donation. The answer seems to be found in the real Jason P case. In an on-and-off again relationship, a sperm donor may be able to establish visitation rights or parental rights depending on the conduct of the parties after the birth, even if the parties have a sperm donation agreement and follow the law. It is still an open question whether a provision forever revoking all parental rights in a written sperm donation agreement can bar the donor from claiming parental rights, but we advise parties to known donation agreements to always refrain from referring to a donor as a parent or the child to refer to the donor as a “dada” “mama,” or for the donor to take the child into his/her home as their natural child.  Protecting your rights with proper legal agreements When you enter into a gamete donation agreement, please consider having proper representation. We at Tsong Law Group are ready to assist you with egg, sperm and embryo donation contracts. If you have questions about donation, contact us now. P.S. Remember this nerdy guy from the movie? He definitely reminded us of Ralph because who else would analyze a fictional case from a movie!

Egg donation  is a  process wh ere a woman donates her eggs (oocytes) to help someone else conceive a child. The medical procedures are usually smooth, but sometimes medical complications can arise, which leads to the question of who pays for unexpected medical expenses of the donor. This is where egg donor insurance, sometimes referred to as an Oocyte Donor Insurance Policy or ODIP, comes into play. In this blog, we discuss what ODIP is, what it covers, and when it should be purchased, as well what caps on out-of-pocket medical expenses.  What Does ODIP Cover?  An ODIP covers any complication that may stem from undergoing the egg donation procedure. This includes infections, lesions, overstimulation, adverse medication reactions, and any complication whereby the donor would need treatment at an emergency room, urgent care, or doctor's office.   ODIP is strictly for egg donation complications. ODIP does not cover routine aspects of the egg donation process such as monitoring, retrieval procedures, or medication costs. These routine expenses are typically paid for by the intended parents directly. ODIP is there to step in if something goes wrong medically after the donation.  Why Do IPs Buy ODIP?  The fact that there is a specialized and affordable insurance that covers egg donation complications is a big benefit for egg donors and intended parents (“IPs”), especially when general medical insurance policies can only be obtained certain times of the year and may be more expensive.  The purpose of having an ODIP is to cover any medical complications that might arise during the egg donation process and allow intended parents to limit their out-of-pocket exposure. While most egg donations proceed without issues, complications may occur, and these can lead to unexpected medical bills. By having ODIP, IPs can ensure that these potential costs are covered for the egg donor.   Even if the donor has her own medical insurance, it's common for IPs to purchase an ODIP policy. There are a couple reasons: (1) The parties do not need to worry about whether the private insurance will cover egg donation complications. The ODIP can be the first insurance to cover any medical expenses; (2) Private insurance may take a long time to process a claim,  leaving the donor with the medical expenses months later, long after the escrow account has closed and it may be difficult to make the intended parents pay the bills. Having ODIP ensures that any potential complications during the egg donation process are covered regardless of the private insurance.  How Long Does ODIP Cover For?  The policy is good for four months OR one cycle of medication. If a new cycle of medication needs to be administered, then a new policy must be purchased even if it is in that four-month coverage period. This is due to a claim needing to be traced back to a medication cycle.  When is ODIP Typically Purchased?  ODIP insurance should be purchased at least 3-5 business days prior to the medication start date. If a start date isn't known, but a policy must be put in place, you may enter in a tentative start date and when a proper start date becomes clear, you may adjust the date if medication has not been administered. This ensures that the donor is protected from the start, and any potential complications can be addressed promptly without financial stress. IPs often coordinate with their fertility clinic or agency to arrange this coverage ahead of time.  What Out-of-Pocket Expenses Could IP Be Responsible For?  ODIP policies have typically covered up to $250,000 for medical complications arising from the egg donation process.   Egg donation contracts with ODIP provisions will have a limit to the out-of-pocket intended parents are responsible for. This limit ensures that even if complications occur, IPs are only responsible for a predetermined amount of medical expenses beyond what ODIP covers. The exact limit will depend on what the two sides and their attorneys agree to. The Intended Parents should speak with their agency or broker about what expenses could fall outside of the policy.  While it is unlikely that there will be medical expenses outside of ODIP, Intended Parents will benefit by having a monetary limit on potential medical expenses in the egg donation agreement and know they will not be responsible beyond the limit.   Conclusion  In conclusion, having an ODIP is a good idea and offers protection for both the donor and IPs in the egg donation process.  To purchase an ODIP or learn more about the plans, contact an insurance broker that specializes in third party reproduction. Your agency or lawyer can refer you to a company that offers these plans. They may be surprisingly affordable given the amount of coverage. If you have questions or need assistance with drafting or reviewing an egg donation agreement, contact us now.

Rachel Mangahas is a certified coach, speaker and advocate for individuals navigating infertility, adoption, surrogacy and family/societal expectations. After growing her own family through adoption and surrogacy, she supports others on their own journeys to reduce their stress, take breaks, and find joy. You can learn more about her work at rachelpm.com or tune into her podcast on Spotify . When Rachel Mangahas first began her family-building journey in her mid-twenties, infertility was the last thing she expected to face. “You think of infertility and it usually happens to someone older,” she recalls. After a difficult IVF experience left her feeling emotionally and physically depleted, she paused treatment and turned to  adoption . That decision opened a new path for Rachel and her husband y which led to  two international adoptions from Korea and, later, a twin pregnancy via surrogacy. In this conversation, she opens up about the emotional and cultural layers of infertility, navigating family dynamics, and the different kinds of control and surrender required in both adoption and surrogacy. Ralph knows Rachel and her husband from their Korean adoption journey and kept up with them for their subsequent surrogacy journey. Her success and story is unique and worth sharing with our readers. Rachel now has a podcast called It’s How You Carry It and coaches women with accepting infertility. Early Dreams and Expectations Did you ever feel pressure from your family or cultural expectations when it came to having children or building a large family? A little bit. I feel like the number of kids wasn’t the biggest pressure. It was definitely talked about often, and I had that idea too—because I loved having a big family, with lots of cousins. I only have one brother, and my husband has one brother, so it was like, “Oh, we want a loud house with a bunch of kids and strong relationships.” From the family side, they didn’t really push it. They’d just say things like, “Well, grandma had seven—you can do it too. If you want five, just keep going.” They knew I always said I wanted five. The pressure wasn’t really about how many—it was more like, “Start having kids already.” Like, When are you going to have them? For me, it wasn’t too bad. When people asked, I had my go-to responses like, “We’re trying.” I kept it tight. I didn’t really let anyone in, especially about IVF or what we were going through. What affected me more was how our families only saw one version of how this was supposed to go: you get pregnant, you have kids. That’s it. They didn’t understand the other paths, or why it might not be working. They’d make comments like I was doing something wrong—like something was wrong with me. That’s what triggered me. I’d push back and say, “You know there are two people in this equation, right? ” I’d end it with, “We know what we’re doing. We’re working with doctors who understand. I’m trying my best.” But yeah, what hit me most were comments like, “You’re probably eating the wrong things,” or “You’re not exercising enough.” I didn’t believe any of it—but it still hurt. How did your Filipino upbringing and family dynamics shape your experience with infertility and adoption—and how did you navigate those cultural expectations along the way? Yeah, 100%. Being Filipino and growing up in a Filipino household with a lot of Asian friends and being around Asian communities, you rarely see families that have adopted or done surrogacy. If they did struggle, it was definitely more taboo. No one talked about it. We didn’t tell [my family] much because there was such a lack of understanding. We never saw examples of anyone around us going through anything like this. So the pressure really came from myself. It was like, I need to make this work. I have to make this work. Because no one else seems to have problems—so why is it just me?  It felt incredibly unfair. My mom never talked to me about reproductive issues, ever. So it just wasn’t something we openly discussed. I think they’re better about it now. But back then, when I was younger and starting my family, it just wasn’t something you talked about.  And because of that, anytime I gained a little weight—or we were even thinking about making an announcement—people would start touching my stomach and go, “Oh my God, you’re pregnant.” That was... not the funnest experience. Later, when our kids from Korea came home and we learned about attachment styles and how to become the primary caregiver, the hard part was navigating how our families would interact with them. I was nervous. Would they love them just as much as we did?  Because they were adopted? But honestly, once everyone knew, they were just extremely excited. There were a few questions, mostly because they didn’t understand the process. But overall, they were just excited to have babies in the house. Still, my husband and I had to set boundaries—especially in those early days. We had to be the ones doing most of the caregiving, to make sure the kids bonded with us as their parents, not the grandparents. That might’ve rubbed some people the wrong way. When you and your husband first started discussing family plans, did you both have the same vision for how many children you wanted? I did. I was shooting for five—I wanted five. My husband wanted two. So we compromised and went with three. But after the twins came, it was definitely a, “Well, looks like I got closer to my number than yours.”  IVF and the Journey to Surrogacy How many IVF cycles did you go through, and what was that experience like for you physically and emotionally? Essentially, I did it twice. What I did more of were the egg retrievals—and that part was hard. You go under anesthesia, it’s like a quick nap, but for me, I would constantly wake up from those procedures with maybe one or even zero eggs. That was the hardest part. We did one full IVF cycle, and then we did IVF a second time with a new doctor.  Can you walk us through the embryo transfers leading up to your surrogacy journey, and what made the experience at your second clinic feel different from the first? Yeah, that was our last embryo. Before that, we had two. I tried transferring one—it was a girl—but she didn’t stick. I was almost sure it had worked, so I was really bummed out. Surrogacy can feel like an unfamiliar or even intimidating option for many families. What led you to ultimately choose surrogacy for your third child, and how did that experience unfold? Yeah, the third baby. You and I had talked about it at some point—but to be honest, surrogacy wasn’t even on my radar. I was in denial. I thought, There’s no way I’m going to get to that part.  My plan was to adopt, and then get pregnant. So in my head, surrogacy was completely off the table. But we had our last embryo frozen, and once our daughter had settled in, we started debating—do we pursue another adoption, or do we try the embryo? We were scared about what would happen to it if we didn’t use it. Later we thought, Thank God we didn’t go for another adoption first,  or we’d have way more kids than planned. So I went back to my fertility doctor—she’s honestly the best in the Bay Area—and she brought up surrogacy. She strongly suggested it. I was shocked. I thought we were going to transfer the embryo to me. But she said, “Given your history, I’ll support you either way, but your best bet is surrogacy .” Then she asked, What’s more important—experiencing pregnancy, or bringing home a healthy baby?  That really hit me. I realized I’d been more attached to the idea of pregnancy than actually needing it. I’d already adopted. I knew what it felt like to have someone else carry your child and still bond deeply when they came home. So it became an easy yes. But yeah—surrogacy is a ride. A very expensive one. There was a lot to learn: contracts, seasoned surrogates vs. first-timers, reading all the profiles. We didn’t know how much we didn’t know. It was tough at first. We were holding our breath: Are we pregnant yet?  But once we got through that, it was so meaningful to build a relationship with our surrogate. In our adoptions from Korea, you don’t really get that—maybe an email or a picture. But there’s no conversation. With our surrogate, we texted all the time. At one point I wondered, Should I be doing more?  Like sending her gifts or having her hold the phone to her belly. But because we’d already been through adoption, we knew how to bond once the babies came home. That part didn’t worry us. So yeah, I let that go. I reminded myself: They’ll be fine once they’re here.  I just wanted her to be comfortable and have a healthy pregnancy—especially since it was twins. She was constantly at the doctor’s and such a good sport about it. Definitely not what we expected when we transferred one embryo... and ended up with twins. Parenting and the Transition Between Children How did you navigate IVF treatments and the second adoption while caring for your young son—and how did you help him understand the transition? Yeah, he was very young then—maybe three or four. So he didn’t really grasp what was happening.  When we went to Korea, we started explaining things to help with the transition: We’re going on a plane to pick up your sister.  He’d smile and seem okay. But when we actually got there, it was like, Who is this person?   He started fighting for attention—typical sibling stuff. And at that age, he didn’t understand the pregnancy or IVF side, so there weren’t a lot of questions. But doing IVF with him around—that was rough. I was a stay-at-home mom at the time, and I thought, Well, I have the time. I can do this.  But I didn’t realize how hard it would be with a demanding toddler. You’re trying to minimize movement, take all these medications... hormones, bruises from the fertility shots, fatigue... It physically weighed on me, and I couldn’t show up as my best for him. I was probably short with him or not playing as much. That’s why we took a break. I felt like, I’ve done enough,  and I needed to just focus on him. He was in those prime years—and he was still an only child. We thought it through and realized: We need to pay more attention to how he’s processing all this.  That shift into our second adoption felt like the right move at the right time. What felt most different for you between your adoption journeys and your experience with surrogacy? The biggest difference was that when we adopted, we were also first-time parents. That felt very different. We didn’t have a newborn, and we didn’t go through that phase firsthand. Also, adoption was something we openly wanted. We chose it. Surrogacy felt more suggested—something we resisted a little at first. But with surrogacy, we had way more control. We got to choose the surrogate, read profiles, and have a say. That’s not how it works in adoption. There, you submit your info and they match you. You don’t get to pick. You don’t have control. And that’s a huge difference. It just brings a different kind of anxiety. It’s a completely different process. What has it been like parenting four children—two through adoption and two through surrogacy—and how do you approach the unique conversations that come with each of their stories? Part of why I do what I do now is to show that all families are different and unique—and that’s okay. We’re a family. They’re my kids. I’m their mom. It doesn’t feel different to me. The only difference is in the back of my mind—when they go through something, or ask a question—I start overthinking: Is this related to their adoption? Why are they questioning things? The twins, from the surrogacy, don’t ask much yet. So for now, we’re focused on keeping Korean culture deeply rooted in our family. We want them to feel like it’s part of them—that we respect and celebrate it. We try to be open in talking about everything. Lately, we’ve been getting some weird questions, and we’re figuring out how to answer those. Sometimes you want to say so much—but then you realize, Wait, what are they really asking at this age? Every parent probably feels like, Oh my God, I’m going to mess up my kid—they’ll end up in therapy someday.  That’s probably universal now. But for us as adoptive parents, it just feels more heightened because of the trauma. It’s really about how they’re internalizing things, and how I can support them. That’s the part that hits me hardest—knowing I can’t fix everything. All I can really do is be present, answer their questions, and help them feel seen and loved. That’s probably the biggest difference in raising four kids with such different beginnings... and of course, just keeping up with daily life as a mom of four. Career, Coaching and Support for Others How did your time at Facebook impact your family-building journey—and what ultimately led you to step away from that role? I started working at Facebook about six years ago, and I’ve been out for two now. Honestly, working there played a huge role in making surrogacy and adoption possible for us. They offered reimbursements and a lot of great benefits that really helped us financially. I’m 100% grateful for that—our story might have looked very different if I hadn’t had that kind of support. But toward the end, he signs of burnout were all there, so I made the decision to leave. Can you share a memorable success story from your coaching work—one that really captures the kind of transformation you help people move through? One of my clients and I met in a surrogacy group. She had just lost her last embryo—that’s when we started working together. She and her partner were older and really at a crossroads. We began by talking things through—ways to process the grief, the fear, the resistance. I reminded her: it’s going to be different, not perfect, but she’s stronger than she thinks. Infertility teaches you that. Eventually, she shifted focus to herself. She looked for work, earned certifications she had put off—and one day said, “Rachel, I’m actually having fun.” She was laughing again with her husband, going out with friends. A weight had lifted. Getting her through the grief wasn’t easy, but she told me: “I wouldn’t be experiencing this joy now if I hadn’t gone through that.” She’s even scared to try another route because she doesn’t want to lose that lightness—and I get that. Who do you feel is the right fit for your coaching or podcast—who are you really hoping to reach and support? It’s anyone who feels like, I’ve done everything, but nothing’s working. I feel done—but I can’t be done. They’re usually pushing through because they think they have to—but they’re burned out. So we look at the deeper questions: Why are you doing this? What expectations are you trying to meet? It’s not just IVF. It could be adoption, surrogacy, foster-to-adopt—or how infertility has impacted your relationship or career. Some clients feel disconnected from their partner, or like their life is on hold. So we figure out: What will help you feel better first?  Then we build a plan. I often work with women who feel like they’re “skipping steps.” They think, Once I have the baby, everything else will fall into place.  But they’re exhausted. They’ve tried everything—acupuncture, herbs, all of it—and feel like they’ve lost themselves. The ones I connect with most are ready for a change—and can still laugh through it. Those are the ones who bounce back quickest. They start realizing, Yeah, I can actually do this. Reflection and Advice Looking back now, what would you tell your younger self at the very beginning of your family-building journey? Yeah. I would tell her to just chill out. I was 25. And now I’m 40—so looking back, that feels so young to be dealing with something like infertility. I really felt that at the time. I remember thinking, Why the heck am I going through this?  It just felt unacceptable, and I was determined to push through no matter what. But if I could go back, I’d tell her: Stop comparing yourself.  That was the hardest part. I let other people’s comments get to me—like I was doing something wrong, and that’s why I couldn’t get pregnant. I’d say, Stand on business. Be more vocal. Be confident. Own your journey from the start and do what you need to do. Because now? I’m living almost exactly what I had envisioned—just with a few small tweaks. And those are the parts that make our story even more special. Conclusion If you’re considering a similar path and want legal support that understands just how personal these journeys can be, Tsong Law Group is here to help you move forward with clarity and care.

If you’re a Netflix subscriber, The Surrogacy (Madre de Alquiler), a Mexican telenovela drama might have caught your eye as a top 10 Netflix series in the US. It is a 24-episode drama that features a young girl who becomes a surrogate for a young and wealthy married couple. You might wonder as we did whether there will finally be a TV series with a nuanced, informed look at surrogacy or surrogates? In this series review blog, we will discuss the first two episodes for its depictions of surrogacy and its legal accuracy . The story opens in 2004 when surrogacy is still illegal in Mexico. Despite this, an influential and corrupt family targets Yeni, a young, naive woman who finds herself in a desperate situation when her father's freedom is on the line. To save her father, she agrees to become a surrogate for Julia and her husband, Carlos, who is heir to a powerful company. After successfully delivering the babies, everything changes. Depictions of Surrogacy and Its Legal Accuracy Sadly, the series makes very little effort towards factual accuracy. It is something of a legal and factual train wreck in how many things it can get wrong. Here are some inaccuracies spotted early on: Yeni, the surrogate, has never given birth before. Under ASRM guidelines, surrogates must have experience delivering babies so that the doctors know they are ideal candidates without complicated deliveries. Yeni would be a very unlikely candidate for a couple’s last embryo when there’s no telling if she has a history of miscarriages or whether she would deliver full term, or whether she would become attached or have psychological issues having never had a child before. Yeni agrees to be a surrogate after a short meeting while under pressure the whole time. She has no consultation with a doctor about the risks. It is also unclear whether she is compensated other than the room and board. Altruistic journeys happen between friends or family, not among strangers. Confinement in surrogacy is also a major red flag. In one scene, the family lawyer attempts to convince the doctor who will perform the IVF Procedure that she should do it even though surrogacy is illegal, it might eventually become legal in Mexico. She makes some inaccurate statements that surrogacy has a negative emotional impact on the surrogate and child. The intended parents have one embryo which splits into a boy and girl which is not scientifically possible. As a typical trope, the husband has an affair with Yeni, possibly impregnating her. This should not happen in gestational surrogacy arrangements. The family abandons one of the babies with Yeni. With regard to legal accuracy Yeni’s attorney (though she never actually retains him) is her dad’s criminal defense attorney who does not have her best interest at heart. In many states, the surrogate must have her own attorney of her choosing, ideally one who is a certified specialist of third-party reproduction law. The surrogacy contract appears to be just a two-page contract which Yeni has just a few minutes to review and sign it. Later, Yeni is repeatedly told that because she signed it, she is bound by the contract when it should be void as surrogacy is not yet legal in Mexico and apparently doesn’t give her the freedom to terminate the agreement . There is no confirmation of parentage through a court or administrative body, instead they do the old "baby swaperoo” whereby Julia pretends to deliver one of the children the day of the delivery. What about Surrogacy in Mexico today? Surrogacy in Mexico is somewhat a legal gray area. Previously, only the state of Tabasco recognized surrogacy. Recently, there has been an increase in commercial surrogacy in Mexico as apparently a Mexican Supreme Court decision legalized compensated surrogacy. Some Americans have been able to utilize surrogacy in states outside of Tabasco, however, if there is no law passed in the state of the Mexican surrogate, the surrogate may be listed as the mother on the birth certificate. To remove the surrogate and replace them with a spouse or partner on the child’s birth certificate, a stepparent adoption or confirmatory adoption will be needed in the United States, and this will require the consent and cooperation of the Mexican surrogate. Conclusion The Surrogacy, Netflix's latest Mexican drama, launched its 24 episodes of its first season on June 14, 2023. Given its popularity, many must find this a campy romp. But don't expect any kind of accuracy or insights as to surrogacy in Mexico or elsewhere. We just noted some of the inaccuracies in the first two episodes. Hopefully, viewers of The Surrogacy will know that outside the drama, surrogacy can be normal, ethical and not exploitative. If you want to learn more about surrogacy law follow us on our social media, subscribe to our blog and newsletter. If you are looking for an independent surrogacy lawyer for your surrogacy contract and want to avoid ending up like Yeni, contact us today.

One of the most common questions surrogates have is who to pick as their surrogacy agency. The agency you choose will be with you throughout your journey, from the point of matching with intended parents, through post-delivery and making sure your bills are paid for. Picking the right surrogacy agency is very important, but there are so many agencies and if you’re a qualified surrogate they will be doing their best pitch to have you join them.  How do you tell them apart?  Here are three factors you should consider.  Agency Longevity and Reputation  The length of time a surrogacy agency has been in business tells you a lot about their experience and stability. Agencies that have been around for many years have likely navigated almost any imaginable surrogacy situations and will have a track record of successful journeys. When researching a surrogacy agency, look for those with a proven history of having years of experience in the surrogacy industry. When considering newer agencies, you will want to look at the experience and background of the owners and their managers. Were they previously owners, directors or case managers at successful surrogacy agencies?  Reviews and reputation  These are also important. Look beyond the testimonials and reviews on their website and seek out independent reviews from past surrogates. Note that most agencies provide referral fees for surrogates, so take unsolicited agency recommendations with a grain of salt. Is the person who is referring to an agency just out to get a referral fee? Some recruiters have no experience with the agency they are recruiting for. And just because someone has multiple recommendations, is that just a sign that the agency is larger or has more recruiters? If they are getting a referral fee, should they disclose it and split with you?  Google and other online reviews can be revealing. An agency with consistently positive reviews from surrogates is a good sign, but be aware that reviews can be faked or bought outright, so pay attention to detail in reviews regarding communication, support, and overall experience, and consider contacting the reviewer or asking for references. Signs that An Agency Is Ethical and Will Support You Ethical, supportive surrogacy agencies prioritize the wellbeing of surrogates and maintain high professional standards. Key markers of an agency that will support you and be ethical include: Membership or leadership in professional organizations like SEEDS (Society for Ethics in Egg Donation and Surrogacy). Transparency about who owns or runs the agency. Screens their intended parents’ with criminal background checks and psychological consultations. Offers monthly support groups and psychological counseling throughout pregnancy and postpartum Has a track record of continuing support to ensure your medical bills and expenses will be paid for after the journey is over. Surrogate support  goes beyond just medical coordination. The best agencies provide comprehensive support that includes mental health resources, postpartum care, and ongoing communication. It may include flexibility to include special requests like a doula or midwife.  They should have dedicated support staff who understand the unique emotional and physical challenges of surrogacy. While all agencies should have stories of their successful journeys, one thing that can differentiate agencies is their approach to problems along the way. You should want to know what would happen if intended parents disappear or stop funding the journey , or if you have a late lien or medical bill that is left unpaid? Or what if there were problems with the escrow company ? What if your intended parents are rude or micromanaging? What is their approach? Have they handled or do they have a plan for these possible scenarios? Autonomy in contracting, decision making, and compensation Autonomy  is critical in any surrogacy journey, and a good agency will give you autonomy and respect. They should never pressure you into medical procedures such as risky multiple embryo transfers or lifestyle choices that make you uncomfortable.  The benefit package structure should be transparent, with compensation, additional allowances, and payment schedules clearly spelled out and better yet, they allow you to choose your compensation, even if they do suggest what their experience is with the market.  You should always have the right to choose your own attorney, and the agency should support your choice of independent legal representation  in your state. Your attorney should represent only your interests and not be beholden to the agency or the intended parents. The agency should also not pressure you during the legal phase to accept the contract or withdraw your redline changes.   Lastly, your agency should not require you to sign a non-compete or exclusivity agreement, or an agreement that prohibits you from speaking about your experiences with the agency, or that makes you financially liable for costs if you need to withdraw from the process. These agreements are meant to lock you in with an agency, when the agency has to build a relationship of trust. You cannot be bound to agreements to not work with the agency on a subsequent journey or be liable for breaking that.   Conclusion  Choosing the right surrogacy agency  is a deeply personal decision. Take your time, do your research, and ask plenty of questions. At Tsong Law Group, we specialize in surrogacy law and representation. We work in a collaborative fashion, and can schedule a review for a surrogacy contract right away, with times convenient to you. With over 110 five star reviews, Super Lawyer distinction, and thirty years of experience, our attorneys can review your agreements, explain your rights, and ensure you're protected throughout your surrogacy journey. We're committed to supporting surrogates and intended parents with compassionate, expert legal guidance. Disclaimer: This article provides general information and should not be considered legal advice. Laws regarding surrogacy vary by state and change over time. Please consult with a qualified surrogacy attorney for advice specific to your situation.

This content is provided for general informational purposes only and should not be considered legal advice. Reading this article does not establish an attorney-client relationship. Update On July 10, 2025, the ACLU's class action filed in New Hampshire district court which covers the proposed class of babies being born was certified by the court, and a new injunction has issued covering the class with a seven day delay for the government to appeal the inunction to the First Circuit Court of Appeal. If the First Circuit court allows the injunction to remain in effect, then the Executive Order will not take effect until the courts have ruled on the merits. The class of persons covered by the injunction is: All current and future persons who are born on or after February 20, 2025, where (1) that person’s mother was unlawfully present in the United States and the person’s father was not a United States citizen or lawful permanent resident at the time of said person’s birth, or (2) that person’s mother’s presence in the United States was lawful but temporary, and the person’s father was not a United States citizen or lawful permanent resident at the time of said person’s birth, as well as the parents (including expectant parents) of those persons. As of mid‑July 2025, the executive order is currently stayed nationwide, following district court rulings. A crucial class‑action injunction in New Hampshire took effect on July 17, after the administration did not appeal within the emergency window. No subsequent stay was granted by the First Circuit or the Supreme Court, leaving the orders in force. June 30, 2026: The Supreme Court has now ruled on the merits. This article addressed Trump v. CASA, which concerned only the scope of nationwide injunctions. The Court has since decided the underlying constitutional question in Trump v. Barbara. On June 30, 2026, by a 6-3 vote, the Court held that Executive Order 14160 is unconstitutional and struck it down. Chief Justice Roberts wrote the majority opinion, confirming that children born in the United States are citizens at birth under the Fourteenth Amendment. This resolves the uncertainty CASA left open. The Order can no longer be enforced anywhere in the country, and international intended parents pursuing surrogacy in the United States can rely on their child's citizenship at birth. Introduction Today in a much-watched decision, the U.S. Supreme Court decided Trump v. CASA, Inc., a collection of cases which had paused via national preliminary injunctions President Trump’s Executive Order 14160 Protecting the Meaning and Value of American Citizenship which limited birthright citizenship to children born from citizens or permanent residents. What is the Supreme Court’s ruling? The Court considered the limited question whether the Executive Order can be paused nationwide. The ruling does not decide the Executive Order on the merits, whether it violates the Fourteenth Amendment. A discussion on how the Order appears unconstitutional can be found in our blog. In a surprising and shocking 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court held that federal courts may only grant injunctive relief to the parties to a court action. The Court observed the proper means to affect other parties is a class action governed by Federal Rule of Civil Procedure 23 which requires a showing of numerosity, common questions of law or fact, typicality and representative parties who will adequately protect the interest of the class. The Court granted the Trump administration relief of the preliminary injunction to the extent the injunctions are broader than necessary to provide complete relief to each plaintiff with standing to sue. In other words, the Court held that the Trump administration can start putting the birthright citizenship Executive Order into effect in 30 days but the courts can issue new injunctions to cover the individual plaintiffs suing the Executive Order. How does this affect international intended parents using a surrogate in the U.S.? First, the ruling will not affect the issuance of birth certificates or affect any present or future surrogacy parentage action. Intended parents who reside abroad can still work with surrogates in the United States, still have judgments issued by courts naming them as the parents on birth certificates issued in every state. The ruling will only potentially affect the issuance of documents that reflect US citizenship. Second, the ruling will not take effect until July 27, 2025. So if a child is born in the US prior to July 27, regardless of the intended parents’ citizenship or residence, if the child is born anywhere in the US, the child will be entitled to a passport. It may also take longer than 30 days for the government to issue direction to agencies on the Executive Order. Once federal agencies have that direction, we will have more information on whether there will be any other solutions for obtaining passports for children born to surrogates, such as whether the surrogate’s citizenship or residency can be used or parentage judgment language could be used to be an exception. Which states are challenging the Executive Order? In the meantime, lower courts must reissue their injunctions in compliance with the Supreme Court's decision. The precise impact of this requirement remains unclear. Currently, 22 states have sued the Trump administration over birthright citizenship. It is likely that the federal court in State of Washington v. Trump, being heard in Seattle, Washington, will issue a new injunction covering Washington, Arizona, Illinois, and Oregon. Meanwhile, a US district court in Massachusetts hearing State of New Jersey v. Trump could issue preliminary injunctions for the other 18 states in the lawsuit. The map below shows the states that are actively challenging the Executive Order. Will my child still get U.S. citizenship? If new injunctions are granted in these 22 states and Washington DC, then any child born in one of them will continue to automatically receive the privileges of U.S. citizenship beyond July 27, 2025. There may be other remedies available such as filing an individual or class action lawsuit to determine that the Executive Order does not apply to individuals such as intended parents. [Note that the ACLU has already filed a class action lawsuit on behalf of a class of unborn children affected by the Executive Order.] Our previous blog article discusses some other possibilities to leave the US immediately with a child who does not have a passport such as using the laissez passer. Rest assured that there will likely be ways to bring a child to their home country safely. Is the Executive Order constitutional? The courts have still not determined if the Executive Order is unconstitutional. We still believe that the Executive Order violates the 14th amendment and the lower courts have unanimously indicated they will find the Executive Order unconstitutional, although the Supreme Court will have final say. Until the Supreme Court rules, the Order may be unconstitutional in some states depending on the location of the lawsuits. If the Order is found unconstitutional by the Supreme Court, then all children born in the US, regardless of when they were born, will be entitled to US passports and other privileges of citizenship. Quick checklist for international intended parents (2025 births) ☐ Baby’s expected due date is before July 27, 2025. ☐ Surrogate resides in one of the 22 states challenging the Executive Order. ☐ Speak with your counsel after the courts have issued new preliminary injunctions. ☐ Consult with counsel in home country in familiar with alternative travel documents like laissez-passer Final thoughts We will continue to work closely with our international intended parents, as well as surrogates supporting them, to monitor legal developments and identify practical solutions for any passport-related issues that arise. This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. It does not create an attorney-client relationship with the reader.

If you are venturing into surrogacy, one of the first steps is to find the right agency as an intended parent for a smooth process. Agencies play an important role in the surrogacy process. First, they can help you find the right professionals, such as the right clinic, attorney, insurance broker, and psychotherapist. Second, they find a surrogate for you and facilitate the match process by providing the match terms and coming to a handshake agreement prior to legal contracts. After legal contracts are signed, they will monitor the journey and help iron out issues that may arise during the surrogacy process. They offer a first point of contact and information for you to navigate a complex and unfamiliar practice. With the agency’s knowledge and experience, you, as an intended parent are able to maintain your regular lifestyle while preparing for the arrival of your child. In this article, we discuss tips on choosing the right agency for you. 1. WARNING SIGNS As attorneys for many intended parents, we are often asked what are the red flags about agencies. One would be lack of a corporate structure or identity. When you receive an agency agreement, the agency name is listed, and it should identify is a corporation or limited liability company. Corporations and limited liability companies are registered to do business in a state. If they are not registered under the secretary of state of their state under the name of the company, then must be registered as a fictitious business name in the county. If neither shows up, then that’s reason for concern. If there is a dispute with the company down the line, you need to know who you have contracted with. Another warning sign is if the agency does not allow you to choose your own ART attorney. The choice of your own attorney is important. Your own attorney is independent and represents you, he or she should not be exchanging money with the agency for the referral or otherwise serving as an attorney for the agency, as this is a potential conflict of interest. Some agencies will allow you to choose your attorney but include a prepayment for their own attorney in your agency fees. This is effectively the same thing as not giving you a choice because it makes you pay a second time for outside counsel. If you don’t have an attorney, the agency should provide multiple names for potential attorneys and you should be able to research and determine their qualifications or bring your own lawyer who is qualified to draft the contract. A third red flag is if the agency themselves that hold the funds for the journey. In California, escrow is required to be held by a third party other than the agency. Other states may not have this requirement, however, in the event of a dispute between you and the surrogate, problems may arise when the agency, who is your agent, is holding escrow. There have also been cases in which an agency is not holding escrow properly and then disappears or collapses, leaving multiple families in the lurch. While lawyers can be subject to discipline, and escrow companies have bonds that can protect in the event of losses, agencies do not have these protections. 2. AGENCY QUALIFICATIONS With the red flags out of the way, you now need to distinguish between qualified agencies. When you are interviewing an agency, you will want to know about history and experience, matching time, agency fee and the structure of fee (including rematches and refunds), duration of the agency service agreement and the price for extending that time, and references. After your interview, you will want to review the agency agreement. You can ask your lawyer to review it with you. The lawyer can comment on their knowledge and experience with the agency. The agency should provide references of intended parents, former surrogates, professionals in the industry. It is also important to make sure your agency has a track record of successful journeys. Note that there will always be newer agencies which may still be trustworthy, at a minimum these agencies should be run by people with experience working at an agency or having been through multiple journeys. 3. DOES SIZE MATTER? Surrogacy agencies range from a single person to large companies with multiple locations. While a larger size agency might be more established and have a lot of resources, a small agency can have benefits too such as fewer intended parents competing for surrogates. You will want to find out about the recruitment and screening processes of the agencies. Usually, the best agencies take into account factors such as your personality, expectations for the journey, and the level of communication desired. It is also essential that an agency’s staff have good experience and a rapport with you because they will be the one who manage your case and should be looking out for your best interests. Be sure to review what services the agency offers; some surrogacy agencies offer limited services after the match, which means they might facilitate the matchmaking between surrogates and intended parents, but will charge extra or won’t normally assist with the appointments of the surrogate. 4. THE OPINIONS OF THIRD PARTIES Be careful of agencies whose packages seem too good to be true. Third parties such as lawyers, doctors, and former intended parents can be extremely helpful to get a first-hand account of the agency. Don’t be afraid to ask to speak with someone who has worked with the agency before. At the very least, an agency should provide you with the opportunity to read or watch testimonials from past intended parents and surrogates. A positive indication for an agency is that they are in professional industry groups like SEEDS, ASRM, Resolve, and Men Having Babies. You can go one further and contact the organization to see if they are an active member, or just paying dues for the membership affiliation. CONCLUSION At the end of the day, you should research multiple agencies online, talk with trusted professionals, and interview potential agencies to find the best fit. The final decision of your agency is just the start of a long journey towards parenthood. Contact us a surrogacy lawyer now for more information. This article is for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon without additional research or consulting an attorney. This article is not legal advice and does not create an attorney-client relationship with the reader.

If you are considering surrogacy in California, it is one of the friendliest states in the United States and the first to recognize parentage through gestational surrogacy. However, before the actual embryo transfer procedure can take place with the surrogate, there are legal requirements that must be met with the surrogacy contract. California law requires the following: The parties need to have a separate independent counsel of their own choosing. The intended parents must be identified; they may not be anonymous. The intended parents must state the source of the gametes (egg/sperm/embryo) (their own or from a donor). The name of the donor does not need to be listed. All parties must sign the agreement before a public notary or international equivalent before starting injectable medication or the embryo transfer procedure. (Note, ask your attorney if a web notary is ok, as this may cause issues for some courts.) There must be an explanation of who is paying for the medical expenses of the pregnancy and of the child, and a review of the surrogate’s insurance policy if any. If there is a third-party facilitator (i.e., a surrogacy agency), then the funds must be held in an independent escrow account or in an attorney’s trust account. Satisfying all the requirements will allow the attorneys to seek a “Prebirth Order” (also known as a PBO) or a Judgment of Parentage. A certified copy of the Judgment of Parentage will be recognized by hospitals in California and by California Vital Records. Satisfying all the requirements will allow the attorneys to seek a “Prebirth Order” (also known as a PBO) or a Judgment of Parentage. A certified copy of the Judgment of Parentage will be recognized by hospitals in California and by California Vital Records. The judgment may be recognized in other states if the surrogate lives in another state, though not every state. In California, the original birth certificate will list the intended parents as the parents and not list the surrogate’s name on the birth certificate. Consult with a lawyer who has specific experience in surrogacy to ensure a seamless process. The attorneys of Tsong Law Group have extensive experience in the niche field of surrogacy law. Don’t forget to tune in to our blog every Thursday for discussion of surrogacy agreement requirements in the states of NY, IL, WA, AZ, NY, and OK. If you need assistance with your surrogacy agreement, contact us today. This article is for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon without additional research or consulting an attorney. This article is not legal advice and does not create an attorney-client relationship with the reader.

Egg donation, also known as oocyte donation, is a form of in vitro fertilization (IVF) that uses the eggs that are retrieved from a third-party donor. The eggs retrieved from the donor are immediately put in the possession of the recipient/intended parent who can either use the eggs and fertilize them right away, or freeze them for future use. Donors may be compensated for their pain and discomfort and inconvenience. The process also gives an opportunity to infertile couples, same-sex couples, and singles who desire to have a child. Egg donation may be undertaken with directed (known) or non-identified (anonymous) donor. In 2005, the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) issued requirements for egg donors which include the following: A physical exam A donor questionnaire Testing of the donor at an FDA-approved laboratory 30 days before, or up to 7 days after, the egg retrieval for the following: - Gonorrhea and Chlamydia vaginal or urine cultures - HIV-I and HIV-II - Hepatitis B surface antigen and Hepatitis B core antibody - Hepatitis C antibody - RPR If testing is not completed prior to retrieval, the eggs will be frozen and quarantined. In addition, there are also requirements in terms of eligibility. According to American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) guidelines, egg donors must be of legal age in their state and preferably between 21 to 34 years old. Regardless of age, she must undergo a psychological evaluation by a qualified mental health professional and the decision to proceed with such donor will be determined on an individual basis. Meanwhile, if the donor is 34 years old, it is important that her age is disclosed to the recipient as part of the informed consent discussion concerning the risks and the effect of donor age on pregnancy rates. Furthermore, the ASRM also provides that egg donors should be healthy and have no history of hereditary disease. ASRM also recommends a pelvic ultrasound for the assessment of pelvic anatomy including the ovaries for a follicle count, and measurement of ovarian reserve serum biomarkers to anticipate the response to oocyte stimulation medication. Psychoeducational evaluation and counseling by a qualified mental health professional and legal consultation is strongly recommended for all donors. In addition to FDA requirements, here is an overview of the ASRM recommended procedures: Psychoeducational counseling Genetic screening Medical history Infectious disease testing of recipient and recipient's sexually intimate partners Legal consultation for the donor, especially if the donation is to an individual not to a bank. There are two types of egg donation procedures. If the directed donor tests positive or demonstrates a risk of communicable diseases, they are not prevented from participating in the process of directed donation, as long as the parties are aware of the donation’s risk and there is a consent to proceed with the donation. Meanwhile, they can no longer be eligible for non-identified or anonymous donation. ASRM recommends that donors may only donate up to six times. This limitation is per egg donor in her lifetime, and not per clinic. The egg retrieval procedure does not appear to have long term side effects, however, the limitation is intended to prevent any negative health impact or consanguity to prevent intermarrying of donor conceived children from the same donor. The ASRM recommends attorney representation for directed egg donation. If you need help with egg donation, don’t hesitate to contact us now. This article is for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon without additional research or consulting an attorney. This article is not legal advice and does not create an attorney-client relationship with the reader.

Ellen Smith is a mother, adoptee, surrogate, and podcast host who has dedicated much of her life to helping others grow their families. In this interview, Ellen shares how her own adoption shaped her, what it was like to carry triplets as a surrogate, and how her daughter’s interest in surrogacy sparked the creation of their podcast, Stop.Sit.Surrogate . Q: Can you tell us about your surrogacy journeys? A:  I carried a single baby for the first journey, then triplets, and finally twins: all three for gay couples. I did them in 2000, 2001 and 2005. So, basically, in a span of 5 years I did three surrogacies to help create other families, which was a lot. I didn't really realize we were going that fast, but I was older when I started, so I wanted to get as many in as I could. Back then, things were so different. There wasn’t a lot of information or support. Everything was in-person, and only a few agencies worked with same-sex couples. The triplets were a tough one. The agency really pressured us to reduce the pregnancy, but we said no. We talked to a great doctor at UCI who reassured us we could do it safely. I carried all three to 32 weeks. They’re all in college now! Q: How did you first get interested in becoming a surrogate? A : Being adopted had a huge impact. I found out when I was 8. My parents sat me down on our green couch and told me, and I just said, “Can I go play?” They were my parents. That's the only parents I knew. I had a whole extended family from that. I had a brother. I had a sister. We were all adopted from different families. None of us are related. Growing up I didn’t look anything like my family: I had these bright blue eyes and dark hair. That's the family I knew. Around middle school, when I was trying to figure out my identity, I started to wonder why I looked like this, but it was never really an issue. It didn’t really sink in until I had my own kids. When I had my son, I looked at him and went, "My god, that's my nose." It was just this light bulb and I was like, " I have to do this." Before I married my current husband, I told him, “I need to do this. It’s called surrogacy. And once we’re done having kids, I have to do it.” Five years later, our family was complete, and I brought it up again—but he wasn’t on board. I hate to say it, but it almost caused us to separate. It was that important to me to allow somebody who wanted a biological child to have one. Q: Tell us about your reunion with your birth mother. A : Yeah, it was crazy. The Internet wasn't really big back then. I got a letter at work from the Social Security office with all of my names on it: my first married name and my second married name. I'm like, “This is weird.” So I ripped it open, thinking I'm probably getting some money or something, but instead it’s, “The Social Security office has agreed to send this on our behalf.” It was from an agency from Philadelphia called Catholic Society. And it said, "There is someone who is looking for you. Please contact us.” I was in California. They were in Pennsylvania. It was 3 PM in California when I got this letter. I couldn’t call anybody because they were closed. It was 6 PM over there. So, I was up the whole night wondering, “What is it?” Didn't sleep a wink. I immediately left work and went to my mom's house—the one who raised me—and said, "Here's a letter. This is what I got." And she said, "It's about time." I always said I wouldn’t go looking for my birth mom, but if she looked for me, I’d be open. And she did. She reached out through the adoption agency after losing her husband. We had to send letters back and forth through the adoption agency so that they could scan the letters, make sure they were appropriate, and they would mail them on. (What an invasion of privacy!) It was standard practice back then because it had been a closed adoption.  We had to do that for six months and we couldn’t even exchange phone numbers. When they finally said we could exchange phone numbers, we did. We called one another and I flew to Pennsylvania. I took a redeye and we met for lunch. I brought a big book of all my baby pictures because I thought that maybe she would want to see. She had never seen me, not even once, or ever held me. So I took the book and we met and it was like looking in a mirror. It was weird. Same high cheekbones, same nose, even our hand gestures were the same. I hate to say it, but we have the same hips. They're great for birthing babies. We stayed close for 17 years until she passed away. I did the eulogy at her funeral. Q: How did your adoptive parents react to you meeting your birth mom? A : When I first received that letter, she was full-on supportive. “Do it.” My dad had passed already, so she was all, "Yeah, do it. You have to. You'll regret it if you don't search this out.” I found out later that she was very heartbroken that I didn't invite her to go meet my birth mom. It was a very private thing. I had to do that alone. I didn't even take my husband. He went with me to Pennsylvania for support, but he didn't go to the meeting. She needed to work through that. Eventually, she did and they actually met and became little writing buddies. They would write back and forth. It was really sweet. They were friends for about a decade. Q: Your daughter Kenedi is also a surrogate. How did you feel watching her surrogacy journeys? A:  Kenedi was five during my first journey and six when I carried the triplets. That's the one that sparked her interest. She was a little mature for her age, so she understood it. The dads were amazing—they came to visit, took us out, and made my kids feel included. Kenedi remembers that the most. When I was very, very big with the triplets, people would ask, "Are you excited to have a new baby brother or sister?" and she would respond, “They’re triplets and they’re not ours.” People would just go silent. She got a lot of shock value out of it. Back then, no one really knew much about surrogacy. I was very shocked that she wanted to do it. She had her motivating reasons behind why she wanted to do surrogacy. She had a very easy pregnancy with her son and she was very young. She was 21 when she did her first surrogacy. I was 32. She had social media and she was taking pictures of the belly bump and doing all these little things. She had a blast with it. I was worried when she came home and said, "They're going to transfer one embryo." I went, "My God! No, no! You have to put in extras because you have to make sure it takes, right?" No. Science has caught up. When I did it, you just threw a bunch in: three, four at a time. Now science has gotten so good that it's hard to get two embryos placed inside as a transfer. Q: How else has surrogacy changed since your days? A:  It’s changed a lot. When I did it, we didn’t have social media. We had to go to in-person support groups. Matching took forever. You had to have your insurance in place. You had to have everything done. And it was all done in person. So, you had to take a day off and go to LA to meet everybody. There were a lot of moving parts. Now it's like, “Get on Zoom at 8 o'clock in the morning or whatever and do your thing.” You can do international surrogacies very easily now. You have so many choices now. Agencies have been popping up on the corner of every block lately. Sometimes it's too many agencies and you don't know who is going to protect you. I think I'd rather be doing it now, with all the information. I'm going to be 100% honest with you: we didn't have support from our agencies back then. We just didn't. Now the surrogates are valued. They're respected. They can say if something doesn't feel right and their agency will back them up. I've seen it in Kenedi's case. And now, they have the surrogate community that will be with them and help them through it. Q: What advice do you have for new surrogates? A:  So you can't go in expecting to have a best friend in your couple or your intended parent. That cannot be on the table.  You are doing this to help someone have a child that they would otherwise not be able to have. You're trying to help them create their family. Go in with that intention. Go in with an open heart. Go in with transparency, respect on both sides, and a relationship will naturally build. You don't know what it's taken for that couple or that intended parent to get to the point where they've had to turn to surrogacy. There may have been a loss, but they're turning to surrogacy because it's hope. Give them time. If they're a bit overbearing, it's because it's so important to them. Don't take it personally. Q: Is there a moment from your journeys that really stands out? A:  Definitely the triplets. I was the second surrogate to carry triplets in my agency and it was very, very frowned upon. They wanted us to selectively reduce. They did not want that triplet pregnancy to go through. We fought it tooth and nail. In the contract, it said I had to do whatever they wanted me to do. If there were multiples, because we had no idea if we were getting multiples, they had the right to decide. When we ended up with multiples, they went to a fertility specialist. I went to the top fertility specialist. We came back to the table and brought back very different information. The agency was pushing the couple to reduce. My doctor said, "Triplets are just like twins. You just have to be a little bit more careful. Once you get to quads, it's a little different."  I said, "Okay, we don't have quads, so let's do it." The agency was pushing for reduction because surrogacy was kind of new back then. They needed the outcomes to be good. I was at the doctor’s office to find out which baby they were going to reduce when I started hemorrhaging. I thought I was losing the entire pregnancy. I was 16 weeks, which is a little late for a reduction. They got me right in and checked. All three heartbeats were still there. The doctor had pressed so hard to try and find where he wanted to go for the reduction that it ruptured a hematoma behind one of the baby's sacks. It was going to rupture anyway, but his pressing with the ultrasound probe made it happen sooner. I stayed in the hospital for two days, but all the babies were fine. The couple called me and said, “We think it’s a sign. Please carry all three.” The weight of all that stress coming off my shoulders was unbelievable. One of those babies—the one they almost chose to reduce—is now graduating from USC. He just invited me to his graduation in May. Conclusion Ellen Smith’s experience as an adoptee and as a surrogate is a powerful reminder that family is not defined by genetics alone—it’s shaped by commitment and love and sometimes with the help of others. Her perspective sheds light on two unique sides of family formation pathways, reminding us that both ways are possible paths to building your family, and that both have changed over time as psychological studies determine that being open about a child’s origin story is beneficial to the child.  At Tsong Law Group, we understand that every surrogacy and adoption story is unique. Whether you're beginning your own journey, supporting someone else, or simply exploring your options, we’re here to offer guidance, legal clarity, and heartfelt support. Want to stay informed and inspired?  Subscribe to our newsletter for the latest updates, educational resources, and real stories from surrogates, parents, and adoptees. Visit   www.tsonglaw.com  to learn how we can support you in building your family. And don’t forget to check out Stop. Sit. Surrogate  on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts to hear more voices and conversations about what surrogacy is really like—from the people who’ve lived it. We did an episode with them that you can find here .