Search Results

Many surrogates consider an independent journey, or a surrogacy journey  without an agency, for various reasons. In our last blog, we discussed   independent surrogacy from the intended parents' perspective , highlighting the steps they must take. Now, we’ll focus on what independent surrogacy means for surrogates  and the key factors to consider. Some surrogates prefer the flexibility and direct relationship with intended parents, while others see it as a way to help a family they already know. However, independent journeys also come with challenges, including handling negotiations, legal steps, and screening without agency support. If you are considering an independent surrogacy journey, here are some essential qualifications, factors to consider, and steps to take before you move forward. Basic Qualifications to Be a Surrogate Before pursuing independent surrogacy, you must meet certain qualifications . These are common requirements set by fertility clinics and surrogacy professionals: A history of full-term live births – Surrogates must have had at least one full-term pregnancy and delivery. This is because past pregnancies provide proof that your body can carry a baby to term safely. U.S. citizen or green card holder – This is important for legal and medical reasons.  BMI of 32 or less – Many fertility clinics have BMI restrictions because a higher BMI can increase pregnancy risks, including gestational diabetes and preeclampsia, although some allow a higher BMI, while others require a lower one. Not on government assistance – Financial stability is a requirement because surrogacy should not be a financial decision made out of desperation. Most agencies prohibit surrogates from being on government assistance to avoid legal complications. Not taking antidepressant medication – Certain medications are incompatible with pregnancy. In addition, a history of mental illness may disqualify you.   A lack of a criminal record. If you do not meet these requirements, you may not be eligible to be a surrogate, whether through an agency or independently, although some altruistic journeys with relatives may be overlook some of these factors. Independent vs. Agency Surrogacy Before committing to an independent journey, it’s essential to understand how it differs from an agency-assisted  process. Less financial compensation – Some intended parents are choosing independent surrogacy to save money, meaning they may not offer the same compensation packages as agency matches. While many times the base compensation may match packages offered by agencies, the other allowances and compensation will not, and it will take careful research to determine what the market rate is on these if that is what you are expecting. No agency assistance – Agencies typically handle matching, screening, legal steps, and emotional support. In an independent journey, you will be responsible for finding and vetting intended parents, negotiating compensation, and coordinating medical steps and not having support outside of the intended parents and your own circle. More control over the process – Independent surrogacy allows you to choose your intended parents, set your terms, and have a more direct relationship. If you’re comfortable handling these aspects on your own, independent surrogacy may be a good option for you. Choosing Intended Parents Your relationship with the intended parents is one of the most important factors in an independent journey. You should ask yourself: Are these intended parents people you already know? (Friends or family members?) Were they referred to you by someone you trust? Did you find them through an online group or surrogacy community? Do they share your values regarding communication, medical decisions, and birth plans? It’s crucial to do your due diligence before moving forward. If you find it too hard to do it on your own, there are many consultants in the surrogacy field who will assist you and often at no cost to you. However, they may pass on their cost to the intended parents. In addition, your attorney can also conduct a background check on your intended parents if you don’t know them. Key Questions for the Initial Match Meeting Before agreeing to move forward, have an open discussion with the intended parents. Here are some important questions to ask: What are your expectations for communication during the pregnancy? How involved do you want to be in medical appointments and the birth? What are your views on medical decisions, such as termination, selective reduction and C-section preferences? Will I be expected to travel if my state’s laws are restrictive? How many embryos will you transfer?  What are your expectations regarding compensation and reimbursements? What state’s laws will the contract be drafted in?  Do you have embryos ready, who is your doctor and clinic, and do they have any specific requirements for surrogates? All of these questions are important. Clarifying expectations, including getting certain terms of the expected contract in writing, at an early stage can prevent misunderstandings later in the process. When to Talk About Compensation Compensation should be discussed before medical screening and before attorneys start drafting contracts. This ensures that both you and the intended parents are aligned on financial expectations. Be clear about base compensation, allowances, and potential additional fees (C-section, lost wages, maternity clothing, travel expenses, etc.). If you have a list of compensation terms you want, provide it and come to an agreement. Ask if they have escrow  set up for payments to be managed properly and how long escrow will remain open. Even in an altruistic or low compensation journey, ensure that the intended parents do not intend to take shortcuts or will be stingy by avoiding physicians, attorneys, and escrow. If intended parents hesitate to discuss compensation early on, it may indicate that they are not financially prepared for surrogacy. Should You Request a Background Check? Just as intended parents screen surrogates, surrogates should also ensure their intended parents are trustworthy. Before medical screening, consider asking for: A criminal background check – This helps ensure that you are working with responsible individuals. Financial verification – While this is not always required, knowing that intended parents have the financial means to pay for the journey as they promise can give you peace of mind. References from past surrogates (if applicable) – If they have had a previous surrogacy journey, speaking with their past surrogate can provide insight into their experience. Background checks are especially important if you are matching with intended parents you do not personally know. Final Thoughts Independent surrogacy can be a rewarding experience, but it requires careful planning and research. If you are not comfortable managing the process on your own, consider seeking support from surrogacy consultants, attorneys, or agencies that offer partial services. For more insights on independent journeys from a surrogate’s perspective, check out our interview with Dr. Grace Kao. At Tsong Law Group, we assist surrogates and intended parents in exploring independent surrogacy with legal guidance and professional referrals. If you have questions about your rights, compensation, or contract terms, contact us for a consultation.

In Grace Kao’s book My Body, Their Baby: The Ethics of Surrogacy , she tackles the question of what makes surrogacy ethical and consistent with progressive Christianity. Kao, a professor of theology at the Claremont School of Theology, responds to both feminist critiques that surrogacy exploits women and Christian conservative critiques that it violates family and motherhood. She draws from extensive research on surrogacy and personal experience to come up with an argument and framework   that gestational surrogacy aligns with both feminist principles of bodily autonomy and Christian values of caring for others. We sat down with Kao to explore how Kao became a surrogate for her friends, how her experience inspired her to research the field and write this book, and discuss her vision for bridging the gap between traditional religious values and modern reproductive choices. In our conversation, she shares insights about developing ethical surrogacy arrangements that protect all parties involved while honoring both feminist and Christian principles. Q. How did you decide to write the book?  A. When I agreed to carry for my friends, it was never with the thought of getting a book deal out of it. I was pregnant again at 40, and this was a surprise to many people, because I already had 2 small kids. I would have these exchanges where they would congratulate me but then I would say “Thanks but I'm actually caring for my friend. This is not a baby for me.” Many women told me, “I could never do that” while others said “I’ve thought about doing it for my sister or friend.” Some questioned whether I could “give up” the baby or what my husband thought. I found there is a lot of interest and misunderstanding about surrogacy and because I have the academic skills to do so, I thought I would commit it to writing about it. Q. What was your first exposure to surrogacy?  A. I used to watch Friends , the sitcom. There was this one episode in the 90s where one of the main characters, Lisa Kudrow’s character, Phoebe, ends up carrying triplets for her brother in the show. I forget how old I was, maybe I was in college or so but I remember thinking “Oh, that's like a really nice thing.” I didn't think it was odd. I just thought that's really cool. I didn’t know other surrogates. Years later, as someone who’s had easy pregnancies, I said “yes”  when a friend who had been struggling with infertility for a decade basically asked.  Q. How much research did you do before you entered into your surrogacy contract and what advice would you have for a potential surrogate who is doing research?  A. I actually did not do very much research before I agreed to be a surrogate. I came to learn that California is the surrogacy capital of the world and also what we needed to do to get a  pre-birth parentage order.  One of my biggest sore points is that I didn't fully understand that I had not contracted away my right to decide on things like embryo transfer, how many, or termination. Going forward, I would really want to make sure that surrogates understood that they never actually yield that right, whatever private agreement they might have with IPs.  And while the State of California doesn't require it, a good idea would be to schedule a few meetings between intended parents and the surrogate in the postpartum period. The literature shows that the sudden cutoff can be very painful, not because the surrogate bonds with the child, but because many surrogates form a bond with the IPs. If they had a few meetings already set, they could potentially continue to nurture that relationship because the research shows that continued contact between their baby and intended parents is in the best psychological interests of all involved.  Q. You talked about religious objections to surrogacy in your book. Can you tell us about those? A. I'm focused in the book on Christian objections, and depending on what religion you're talking about, there will be different ones.  In Judaism, there are cultural and religious pressures, especially in Israel, to continue the family line, to procreate. It's a pronatalist state, and so surrogacy there is heavily subsidized. But to conform with religious requirements , you have to make sure you have an unmarried woman who is a surrogate, and there is this whole approval process by a government committee.  In Islam, it's generally understood as haram  (forbidden) for one woman to bear a child for another owing to concerns about adultery and family lineage, though there are differences between Sunni and Shia Muslims and there have been cases of co-wives licitly serving as surrogates. In a Buddhist context, I talk in my book about how some Buddhist surrogates in Thailand understand  themselves as creating merit for themselves at the same time as they are performing these good  and compassionate deeds for others.   In my book, I'm focusing on Christian objections, and I would say that we can divide those as objections from the left and objections from the right. Objections from the right have to do with the “queerness” of inviting a third person into a husband-wife scenario and the IVF process creating thousands of embryos. If you hold a pro-life, life-begins-at-conception view, then you are really distraught about all those embryos that are never going to be brought to full term. There's also concern about choosing reproductive technology to expand your family instead of adoption. The Catholic version of the objection is about separating sex from reproduction - the Catholic Church teaches that even if you're doing artificial insemination by husband into his own wife, that is illicit because you are never to separate sex from reproduction. That's why you can't use artificial contraception, you can’t engage in same-sex sexual activity, you can’t masturbate, you can’t have an abortion – all of those activities separate conjugal union (sex) from procreation (reproduction)  Now from the left, what I do in the book is try to show that there's a gap, meaning there are mainline Protestant denominations who in the past several years/decades have approved marriage equality. You can be a gay minister, you can be a same-sex couple  in a legal marriage, and they've also approved the conscientious use of IVF for infertile couples in addition to adoption. So it's not so much that there are objections, but they have yet to resolve the issue about surrogacy, and at that point the concerns from the left mirror the concerns that secular folk, like secular feminists, have about surrogacy - about whether the practice is exploitative, whether IPs are just instrumentalizing and commodifying woman's bodies, that type of thing.  Q. Are the Biblical examples of surrogacy good arguments in support of modern surrogacy?   A. No. The Biblical models of surrogacy are actually pretty horrific, because they always involve older, more powerful women orchestrating relationships with their husband and their likely younger, more fertile “handmaids” or slaves. I’m talking about the stories of  Sarah and Hagar (with Abraham, Ishmael and Isaac), or the co-wives of Jacob (Leah and Rachel and their “surrogates” Bilhah and Zilpah), or Naomi with Ruth and Boaz. These are all examples of  traditional surrogacy. With the possible exception of the Ruth-Naomi-Boaz story, we would consider all of these today as non-consensual situations, because you cannot truly consent if you're someone's slave being told you have to have sex with someone else’s husband to bear a child for his wife.  So yes, absolutely, the Biblical models are awful, and there is not very much to be learned from them except to read them as cautionary tales for surrogacy practices today. Q. You talked about feminist reactions, what is your response to feminist arguments?  A. I'll start with two things. First, I think the asymmetry is strange. The asymmetry here is that secular and progressive Christian feminists have united and converged on the right of a woman or pregnancy-capable person to decide whether to continue a pregnancy or terminate it. There is universal agreement that's a good thing, again, not on the conservative side, but among feminists. However, they have not come to agreement on the good and right of a pregnancy-capable person to undertake a pregnancy for someone else. Somehow, it's okay to say ‘I'm going to continue my pregnancy, or I'm going to end it,’ but they get all concerned if you say ‘I'm going to undertake a pregnancy for someone else.’ I think that asymmetry undermines the larger claim about trusting women, about trusting that they know what they are and are not capable of, what they can and cannot handle, and respecting their autonomy, decision-making, and integrity. That's point number one. Point number two is that there is a widespread racialized understanding that it's rich white people going to Laos, Thailand, and India, etc. commissioning poor brown, yellow, and black bodies. In that image, the assumption is that those women don't know what they're doing, they're just tragic figures being duped or mesmerized by the money. That's problematic from a post-colonial perspective, but it's also problematic when you look at the actual studies and research. Women who get paid to become pregnant for others report a mixture of motives: many want the money – yes – but they also want to help others, they care about their maternal identity, and they want to help others become parents, too. If you're going to argue that poverty prevents surrogates in other countries from providing full and free consent, then you're technically committed to saying they can't consent to anything. They can't consent to work in a garment factory, to do custodial work, to do other care work, or anything. And then you have to wonder why critics are singling out surrogacy as an exploitative practice and not these other industries.   Q. In the past, opponents of surrogacy pointed out a surrogate was paid below minimum wage and that could be exploitative. Now that surrogate compensation has risen, sometimes to $50,000 or more, the argument has become that surrogates are making too much money, and and it’s too much of an incentive for women to become surrogates? A. All you have to do is watch reality TV to know what role financial inducements can play. If the incentive is too great, sometimes people will minimize risks, physical or psychological, they might be rushed into the process.  I think we have to accept that yes, money might change the equation. The problem I have, though, is the ‘therefore.’ Some people might say, ‘and therefore this is why we should not allow for it. We shouldn't allow for any compensation.’ But what I've seen is that prohibition just drives the practice underground. The UK is very interesting. Technically, you cannot run surrogacy as a commercial enterprise. You can't advertise your services, you can't put out an ad, but you can offer compensation. So far the courts have allowed something like 15,000 GBP, but in many cases, people are still paying under the table and not officially registering. There are all sorts of issues when the paperwork isn't done properly, and one reason people aren't doing the paperwork properly is because they don't want to get caught giving more compensation than they think the courts will allow. And this can pose problems down the road about legal custody and inheritance rights. I've become a bit of a realist about prohibition, it does not actually help to stop the practice, but simply drive it underground. Q. Your book is written from a progressive Protestant perspective, can you explain the how it differs from mainline and evangelical Protestant thinking?  A. “Progressive” is sometimes a word that people use interchangeably with "liberal," but "liberal" has a certain kind of connotation, too. The mainline Protestant denominations (Lutheran, Presbyterian, Episcopalian, Methodist, etc.) actually connect to specific institutional and church forms.  "Progressive Christian" is not something that is strictly bounded. For instance, I would say there are progressive Christians who are Catholics or there could be progressive Christians who technically go to an evangelical church. The reason I call it a progressive Christian vision is because I'm not starting from square one. I'm already starting from a set of commitments. For example, I support same-sex marriage and same-sex parenting. I'm not debating whether it's okay to use reproductive technology, because many mainline and a number of progressives will agree to that.  I say very clearly in my book, if you don't start with my premises "it's okay to be gay, it's okay to separate sex from reproduction" then there's nothing I've written in the book that will persuade you, because you will fundamentally reject my premises. I'm sure you know that Pope Francis has been speaking up about surrogacy. And even though I've written an op-ed in response, we just have completely different starting premises. My book can't really engage him or the Catholic Church where they’re at Q. What if someone is an evangelical Christian and is considering surrogacy (believe in reproductive rights or or gay marriage), what can they take away from your book?  A. About evangelicals: There are left-leaning, centrists, and right-leaning ones. Many evangelicals, just like many Catholics in conformity with the Catholic Church, will say life begins at conception. This is why they're anti-abortion. What I've found is that evangelicals, more so than Catholics, are supportive of IVF. This is why after the fall of Roe v. Wade , many states with trigger laws on abortion have been carving out exceptions for IVF. They have moral squeamishness about abortion, but many of them actually do and believe in IVF even though they have likely contributed to the death or destruction of embryos. Catholics are more consistent on the issue. Once you start with “you can't separate sex from reproduction,” you never get to the problem of “what about these embryos?” I think number one, evangelicals have to come to terms with the fact that if they are going to do this (gestational surrogacy or IVF), they may be complicit in the death and destruction of embryos.  Now, there are some evangelicals who offer advice contrary to ACOG . They basically say just fertilize one egg at a time—go through one cycle, then try to fertilize one egg and see if that one takes, because they're trying to be consistent. That's not a best practice medically. The other thing I talk about, although this gets us a little bit outside of surrogacy, is that some evangelical Christians are doing what they call "embryo adoption" where they are transferring surplus, cryopreserved embryos (leftover from others’ IVF cycles) because they want to give them a chance for life. Ultimately, I'm not going to start my argument with "is it okay to separate sex from reproduction?" I'm just starting from where many progressive Christians already are. Q. Your book talks largely altruistic or unpaid surrogacy journeys. What ethical guidelines do you believe should apply in compensated journeys?  A. I begin with unpaid surrogacy as a starting point, along with other baseline assumptions such as gestational surrogacy taking place within one legal jurisdiction, to establish my initial argument.  In Chapter 6, I specifically address what happens when these assumptions change—when surrogacy involves compensation, crosses borders, or is traditional rather than gestational. I propose seven ethical norms for surrogate arrangements. When parameters change, such as when arrangements cross jurisdictional boundaries or involve compensation, additional ethical considerations arise.  Regarding compensation, I argue that payment doesn't negate altruistic motives. If we assumed it did, we'd have to apply the same logic to firefighters, nurses, and teachers—claiming they only work for money or that their receipt of money cancels out their desire to help others, which isn't accurate. People can have multiple motivations.  Q. Should surrogacy be restricted to IPs who have a medical need for it? It's important to distinguish between ethical guidelines from a progressive Christian commitment and legal regulations.  In my book, I focused on the IPs’ medical necessity as a condition to get the progressive Christian argument off the ground (note: medical necessity here would be defined as a lack of a suitable uterus, so two gay men wanting to become parents through surrogacy would meet this requirement), but I understand why people might seek surrogacy for other reasons as well. In short, there might be many reasons for the law to protect or allow for arrangements outside of what I think progressive Christianity could support.  Q. If a surrogate lives in a state with restrictive abortion laws—where she cannot terminate the pregnancy after approximately 6 weeks, except under very limited circumstances or not at all—what ethical concerns do you have about this situation?  A. Given that earlier, I had said one of my regrets is that I didn't fully understand that I didn't sign away termination or embryo transfer rights, that's exactly part of the serious consideration a surrogate needs to take. If I get pregnant, how difficult is it to seek an abortion if needed? Almost every state has some sort of escape clause, if it's a life-or-death situation, they'll allow for an abortion. But if you dig deeper, we now have heard several cases where  women were miscarrying or seeking an abortion but were denied care because hospitals were not yet ready to intervene. And in some of the most tragic cases, this  delayed care led to the woman’s  death. So that's absolutely a very, very serious risk! This might be reason enough for someone to say, “No, I don't want to take this risk. Because if I'm not allowed to terminate, or if I have to be at this dangerous stage of medical failure before I can seek intervention, it's not worth it.”  Q. Your use of surrogate mother or surromom might disturb some in this field who believe the surrogate should not reference motherhood, can you explain why you chose that term and would you use a different term in compensated surrogacy?  A. I talk about this in the preface, because I know, medically, the term they would use for me is "gestational carrier." It's funny because there are academics who are offended by that term. They think "carrier" eliminates the agency and personhood of the surrogate. I decided to use "surromom" and "surrogate mother" because that's how women identify themselves. If you read surrogacy online discussion boards, Facebook groups, or look at the ethnographic literature, they don't have a problem using the word "mom." In saying that, they accept what's called "maternal multiplicity." If I'm a surromom, it doesn't mean that I'm the mother of my friend's child—it just means I served one of many maternal roles.  As a side note, I made a comment before about how my contract had all these weird clauses about how I promised not to form an intention to bond with the baby. They're so worried that even if the surrogate is carrying the child, she's going to naturally want to keep it. I think that's where the offense comes from. People are so worried it's not going to work out in the end that they're trying to create controlling language. I understand the legal and medical reasons why certain terms like “gestational carrier” or “surrogate mother” are used. But looking at the research and how these terms are actually being used by surrogates themselves, I didn't have a problem with using “surromom.” Conclusion My Body, Their Baby is a unique book that takes the deepest dive into the ethics and theology of surrogacy we know of from the unique perspective of a former surrogate. Kao takes the arguments of opponents of surrogacy seriously, and with the support of much published research, presents a framework of surrogacy that will appeal to progressive Christians and feminists.  It is a must read for anyone who works in the surrogacy field who wants to understand how to not just defend surrogacy arrangements from moral objections but make arguments that surrogacy is a social and Christian virtue. As voices against surrogacy grow, it may be important for supporters of surrogacy to find persuasive arguments, that makes Kao’s book all the more a timely read.  We at Tsong Law Group enjoyed reading this book as an intellectual exercise and change of pace.  As fellows of the Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys (AAAA) and the Academy of California Adoption-ART Lawyers (ACAL), Tsong Law Group brings extensive expertise to the practice of surrogacy law. Our three-years running Super Lawyers are licensed in California, New York, Illinois, Washington, Oklahoma, and Arizona. Contact us now.

President Trump issued a new executive order on February 18, 2025, called “Expanding Access to In Vitro Fertilization.” This Executive Order  came as a surprise to many, although the President had previously campaigned on making IVF free d uring his Presidency.  Here’s what the Executive Order says:  * It acknowledges a significant infertility challenge in the United States, noting that up to one in seven couples face difficulties conceiving a child and need assistance with family formation.  * IVF treatment currently costs between $12,000 to $25,000 per cycle, creating a substantial financial burden for many Americans seeking fertility treatments.  * The Administration establishes a policy commitment to ensure reliable access to IVF treatment and reduce unnecessary regulatory and statutory burdens that affect its affordability.  * Within 90 days, the Assistant to the President for Domestic Policy must submit policy recommendations focused on:    - Protecting access to IVF treatments    - Reducing out-of-pocket costs    - Lowering health plan costs for IVF treatment  * The order includes standard legal provisions stating that it:    - Does not impair existing agency authorities    - Must be implemented within available appropriations and existing law    - Does not create any new legal rights or benefits enforceable against the United States  The Executive Order does not enact any immediate changes. We can expect some report within 90 days from the domestic policy assistant on policy recommendations:  Here are some things that the Trump Administration could do:  With Congressional approval, create insurance mandates that require insurance plans to cover IVF. Currently around 18 states have state laws which mandate IVF coverage by insurance.   With Congressional approval, offer tax credits as opposed to tax deductions for IVF.  Direct the IRS  to treat surrogacy and egg donation as deductible expenses covered under United States Code Section 213.  Though less likely given other pronouncements, support legislation that prevents states from restricting access to IVF through personhood laws.  It’s hard to say what other recommendations could be made to President Trump outside of price caps, subsidies, credits,  given that the cost of IVF is largely driven by the relatively few number of IVF physicians compared to the demand for services. We also hope the ultimate changes keep IVF safe while assisting all people seeking IVF to expand their families.  Contact Tsong Law Group  if you are embarking on a third party reproductive journey. Our lawyers can assist you with gamete and embryo donation and surrogacy contracts, and the parentage action. Our surrogacy lawyers are licensed in six states: California, Washington, Illinois, Arizona, Oklahoma and New York.

It’s widely understood that treatment for infertility such as IVF or artificial insemination and pregnancy expenses are deductible   medical expenses  under U.S. Code section 213. A question intended parents have asked us as their surrogacy lawyer, if infertility and pregnancy treatments are deductible, what about medical expenses or costs incurred in surrogacy or egg donation, as these are also treatments for infertility?   The 2021 Private Letter Ruling  The answer whether expenses for third party reproduction can be considered medical expenses and written off on an intended parents’ taxes appears to be “no.” This answer is based off on April 9, 2021   Private Letter Ruling  of the Internal Revenue Services (IRS) where a gay male couple requested a ruling to allow them to deduct for costs and fees related to medical expenses directly attributable to one or both of them, for egg retrieval from an egg donor, in vitro fertilization (“IVF”), with a surrogate, childbirth expenses attributable to the surrogate, medical insurance for the surrogate, legal and agency fees related to the egg donation and surrogacy, and any other medical expenses arising from the surrogacy.   The IRS in its Private Letter Ruling held that costs and fees related to egg donation, IVF procedures, and gestational surrogacy do not qualify as deductible medical expenses. The IRS stated that the costs and fees directly attributable to medical care for diagnosis, cure, mitigation, treatment, or prevention of disease, or for the purpose of affecting any structure or function of the body of the taxpayer, the taxpayer’s spouse, or taxpayer’s dependent qualify as eligible medical expenses. However, expenses incurred on behalf of third parties (not the spouse or dependent), which occur during egg donation, the IVF procedures, and gestational surrogacy are not incurred for treatment of disease nor are they for the purpose of affecting any structure or function of taxpayers’ bodies.   Only the sperm retrieval and sperm freezing could be deductible since there were for medical care that was actually performed on one of the taxpayers' intended parents for the treatment of a disease. This ruling is in line with previous case law which found that only infertility treatments performed on the body of the person claiming a medical expense (and not a third party such as a donor or surrogate) fall under the definition of medical expense.   The 2025 Private Letter Ruling  On January 31, 2025, the IRS released a new   Private Letter Ruling , this time addressing the question whether a heterosexual married couple with a diagnosis similar to infertility could deduct third party reproduction expenses. The couple had an egg donor and a surrogate and requested a ruling to deduct the egg donor related costs, medical expenses of sperm retrieval, sperm freezing, IVF medical costs, surrogate medical insurance costs, childbirth expenses, legal and agency fees, and other medical expenses arising from surrogacy. The IRS noted that the use of assisted reproductive technology did not directly and literally affect the structure or function of the intended mother’s body but will instead affected the structure or function of the surrogate. It also held that medical expenses were not deductible as they do not meet the basic requirement of U.S. Code section 213(a)(1). Like the 2021 Private Letter Ruling, the IRS found that only the care directly attributable (i.e., sperm retrieval) to the taxpayers was subject to deduction under Section 213.   Conclusion   The rulings of the IRS make clear that it interprets the IRS tax code to require a taxpayer to show that the expenses qualify as “medical care” for the taxpayer or his or her spouse or dependent. Unfortunately, this decision seems to treat individuals suffering infertility differently. If a man and woman can have IVF expenses considered medical expenses, should it no longer be a qualified medical expense if the man or woman uses a donor gamete when they perform IVF? It should be noted that these private letter rulings are not precedential, the decisions only affect the parties requesting them, so the IRS could be asked in the future and have a different ruling. Likewise, a denial could be appealed to the tax court which might rule differently.   Read more about the deductibility of third party reproduction related expenses in our blog on egg donation expenses   here .  The outcome is strikingly different, and the latest 2025 ruling appears to contradict the ruling.   As you embark on your journey, whether you are considering   surrogacy  or   egg donation  as an   intended parent , or as a   potential surrogate  or   egg donor , consulting with a   surrogacy lawyer   is a good place to start.   As Fellows of the Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys (AAAA) and the Academy of California Adoption-ART Lawyers (ACAL), Tsong Law Group brings extensive expertise to the practice of surrogacy law. Our award-winning lawyers are licensed in California, New York, Illinois, Washington, Oklahoma, and Arizona.   For a free consultation in ART law,   contact us now.       This article is for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon without additional research or consulting an attorney. This article is not legal advice and does not create an attorney-client relationship with the reader.

Many intended parents pursue independent surrogacy, or a surrogacy journey that is done without the help of a surrogacy agency, to save money avoiding the fees that an agency charges. When you choose an independent journey, it means that you have to do all of the things that an agency would normally do, although there are consultants and agencies you can work with who can offer their services at a lower rate than the full agency fee. We recommend you read and research as much as you can on the subject if it is your first surrogacy journey and you are thinking about an independent surrogacy journey.   Here are some of the major steps you will have to get through before your surrogate can be cleared for an embryo transfer:  Finding a suitable surrogate;  Obtain medical clearance;  Obtain psychological clearance;  Obtain legal representation and refer counsel for the surrogate so that the case can be legally cleared.  Finding A Suitable Surrogate  The first step is one of the most challenging for independent intended parents. We find some of the most common independent surrogacy situations are (1) when a friend or family member offers to be intended parents’ surrogate or (2) it is a repeat journey with a surrogate they previously worked with.   For intended parents who do not have suitable friends or family members to act as surrogates or who haven’t completed a journey before, intended parents look for a surrogate through word-of-mouth, sometimes finding a surrogate through friends or professional contacts, or by searching for a surrogate on the internet. For those who search the internet, a big word of caution is to avoid scammers who impersonate surrogates or are simply not qualified to be surrogates.   Keep in mind while you can save money without an agency, you may not find the same pool of candidates. Some candidates who are repeatedly turned down by agencies will still hold themselves out to be potential surrogates for independent cases. Be careful with this step as who you find to be surrogate it is probably the most important one you make.   Your IVF physician should have guidelines as well such as BMI and a list of disqualifying conditions which should be requested before getting into any deep negotiations with surrogates. Women who have not had a live birth will be disqualified by most clinics because they will lack a record of maintaining a pregnancy.  Women who live outside the United States are generally not suitable surrogates for a domestic journey as there is a large potential for fraud, catfishing, or it may just be unrealistic or unsafe from an immigration standpoint. Your gestational surrogate should be a permanent resident or US citizen, have a stable financial situation, not be receiving government benefits (food stamps, Medicare, Section 8, etc.), and should not have a criminal history.  At this stage or a later stage, you will also want to consider whether she has health insurance suitable for surrogacy, and contact a broker to review her insurance and offer alternative options.  By consulting with an attorney at this stage, you can obtain professional referrals, request a criminal background check and a blank compensation template so that you know you and your potential surrogate are on the same page for compensation. If you work with Tsong Law Group, you can also have the benefit of signing up for Seedcoach  at an earlier stage which can help you budget your surrogacy journey or find new ways to fund it.   Obtaining medical clearance.  The next step is getting your surrogate approved by your IVF physician. This is a step can be one of the most time consuming steps and potentially costly.   First, you will need to gather medical records of the surrogate related to her past pregnancies. Your surrogate can attempt to obtain records herself, but unless you know the surrogate well, these records should be coming from the hospital or doctor’s office and not from the surrogate, to avoid omissions or alterations.  Your IVF physician will be looking her records to see whether your surrogate is likely to safely carry a pregnancy to term.  Once she passes that step, the surrogate will also receive a medical evaluation and screening for infectious diseases.   You can read what is specifically needed in the ASRM guidelines.   Psychological clearance.  With the exception of cases involving a family member surrogate in states where it is not required by law, the parties should make sure the surrogate is psychologically cleared by a licensed mental health professional. Intended parents may also be required to receive a screening or consultation in states such as Washington , Illinois and New York .  The Legal Stage.   In cases where the match is a first time surrogate who is not a family member or close friend, the legal stage can be challenging. We discuss in several blog articles what to expect during the legal stage from the intended parents’  and surrogate’s side , and why we encourage escrow  in independent cases. We recommend that you and your surrogate agree to important terms including compensation prior to having your attorney drafting the contract, otherwise the contract may not never reach a final stage.  For more tips on the legal stage, you can watch our Youtube video on independent journeys. Once the parties finalize the surrogacy agreement and sign, and the attorneys issue legal clearance, your surrogate is finally cleared to begin medication and schedule the embryo transfer.   Conclusion  An independent surrogacy journey is more challenging than an agency surrogacy journey. If you aren’t able make it through these all the stages yourself, you may want to look for the right agency  or find a consultant to help. Consulting with a lawyer when you find a candidate for surrogacy or just to ask questions about the legality of different states is a very good idea. As Fellows of the Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys (AAAA) and the Academy of California Adoption-ART Lawyers (ACAL), Tsong Law Group brings extensive expertise to the practice of surrogacy law. Our award-winning lawyers are licensed in California, New York, Illinois, Washington, Oklahoma, and Arizona. For a free consultation in surrogacy, contact us now.

The Wrong Mother is a drama thriller movie produced by Reel One Pictures in 2017. It stars Vanessa Marcil as Kaylene, Brooke Nevin as Vanessa, and Stephen Snedden as Kaylene's husband Drew. The movie revolves around Vanessa, who is apparently a nurse, who provides home care to Kaylene, the mother of two who is happily married to commercial pilot Drew after she is a victim of a hit and run. Vanessa soon seeks to usurp Kaylene’s role as mother and wife of Drew while keeping Kaylene drugged and isolated from her family. Spoiler alert: Turns out Vanessa is Kaylene’s anonymous egg donor and after Vanessa learns she cannot have children of her own due to lack of egg reserve, she goes crazy, uses her guiles to find out information about her intended parents and plots to upend their lives. (It doesn’t appear to cross Vanessa’s mind she could be an intended parent through egg donation herself.) Vanessa’s end game is to be the mother of Kaylene and Drew’s kids, and she will go to any lengths to remove anyone who is in the way of her plans. Legal and Other Accuracy I’m not sure any lawyers were consulted in this movie. Vanessa’s actions are operating on the theory that “possession is 9/10th of the law” which is not actually grounded in law at all. In reality, egg donors sign a contract in which they relinquish all legal rights or responsibilities to any resulting children or embryos. If Vanessa donated eggs in a typical contract situation, she would have her own attorney who would make sure she read the contract and understood it. Vanessa can’t reverse the donation because Kaylene is legally the birth mother as a result of being the natural parent of the child, and being on the birth certificate. While it is a fear of expressed by some intended parents entering into an egg donation, especially a known donation, that their egg donor might seek to become a parent to the children, I am not aware of any instance of this happening, nor am I aware of any donors replacing intended mothers. Furthermore, egg donors receive psychological and medical screenings and should receive an explanation during those screening exactly what they are doing. Egg donors also understand, via the egg donation contract, that there may be medical and psychological complications as a result of the egg donation and agree to assume those risks. If you are wondering, there does not appear to be a medical correlation between egg donation and depletion of ovarian reserve. Conclusion: We wanted to review this movie because there are a lot of similar movies about surrogacy with the Fatal Attraction formula where the surrogate lives with the family, and tries to seduce the husband and kill/take over the role of the wife, yet this one was about an egg donor, and maybe it would be different in some way. Unfortunately, it isn’t different and its potential “campiness” appeal is limited by its slow-moving pace and Lifetime movie-style predictability. It would have been an interesting take if Vanessa, upon learning of her own infertility and obtaining information about the children, the movie shifted and considered what would the legal outcome be of an egg donor who makes a claim of maternity via a DNA test (spoiler: she would likely lose). But that would prevent a Cape Fear/Single White Female kind of thriller that The Wrong Mother was aiming for. The movie is not to be taken seriously. If you are a donor or parent through egg donation with a sense of humor who feels left out that there are a lot of cheesy surrogacy thrillers but almost none about egg donors, check it out and let us know how you feel about the movie. The movie is available to watch on Freevee on Prime Video. If you are considering surrogacy  or egg donation  as an intended parent , or as a potential surrogate  or egg donor , consulting with a surrogacy lawyer  is a good place to start.   As Fellows of the Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys (AAAA) and the Academy of California Adoption-ART Lawyers (ACAL), Tsong Law Group brings extensive expertise to the practice of surrogacy law. Our award-winning lawyers are licensed in California, New York, Illinois, Washington, Oklahoma, and Arizona.   For a free consultation in ART law, contact us now. This article is for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon without additional research or consulting an attorney. This article is not legal advice and does not create an attorney-client relationship with the reader.

Tsong Law Group knows that the journey to expanding your family through surrogacy and egg donation can be a stretch for the household budget of many people. That is why we are offering Seedcoach, a financial coaching package for free to our intended parents, or if they elect for their surrogates. There is no extra cost to use this benefit. In this article, we will discuss the main points of the program. What is Seedcoach The program was designed to help the intended parents and surrogates answer any questions they may have about the financial aspects of their journey. The question of finances is the elephant in the room for many pursuing surrogacy, so the team at Seedcoach combined with their online video library of resources and templates, will help intended parents identify the financial resources that can help on their journey. How does the program work If you sign up to be a client with Tsong Law Group and retain for us drafting of a contract, you are eligible for the services. The services for the Intended parents include: Online Video Library which offers invaluable guidance on budgeting, insurance, and funding your journey. It includes access to Including budgeting tools, customizable templates, a list of lenders and grants and more! Unlimited One-on-One Coaching with webinar support to help you navigate the financial complexities associated with your surrogacy journey. Assistance with Grants & Loans which will be assisted by your coach in sourcing opportunities to aid in closing any funding gaps by helping you write impactful grant applications and identifying the best borrowing opportunities. Fundraising & Special Events which will guide you on how to plan a successful fundraiser and coordinate special events for crowdfunding your journey. Lastly, Reduce Your Stress! Your Family Third party fertility journeys are complex and emotional. SeedCoach can minimize your stress by providing financial guidance along the way. Meanwhile, if you are a surrogate of intended parents with Tsong Law Group who opt to provide the benefit to their surrogate, the program will help you: Maximum Financial Benefit From Your Compensation which our experts will customize your financial program based on the compensation associated with the contract you entered into with your intended parent(s). Improve Your Financial Situation While Helping to Build a Family by the program’s free tools, budgeting templates and individual guidance on compensation, setting and achieving goals, household budgeting, reducing debt, as well as saving and investing. Achieve Your Financial Goals by helping you realize your financial goals that may be obtained from your earnings and the program will also advise you on the dangers they haveseen other surrogates fall into post-surrogacy. Lastly, you’ll Reduce Stress and Set Yourself on a Path to Financial Freedom! How to get started There are 3 easy steps to start your third-party journey with Tsong Law Group’s Seedcoach: Notify Tsong Law Group. Email or call Tsong Law Group and ask to enroll in the program. Our team will respond immediately and give instructions moving forward. Wait for a welcome email which includes your log in credentials/password. Your credentials will be used to login tsonglaw.fertilityfinancialguidance.com and access all the resources for your funding journey. Finally, complete the Intake form and schedule a one-on-one with a Coach. For more information, call us at 877-992-3678. This article is for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon without additional research or consulting an attorney. This article is not legal advice and does not create an attorney-client relationship with the reader.

If you are considering a surrogacy journey in Oklahoma, this article will explain the state requirements. In 2019, Oklahoma passed the Oklahoma Gestational Agreement Act. Just like in California, Washington, Illinois, and New York, the statute allows individuals of any age or sexual orientation to build their families through surrogacy, but Oklahoma has limitations on unmarried couples and like Illinois, requires one parent with a genetic connection. Before starting a third-party reproduction journey, the legal aspect is one of the most important processes to ensure a smooth process. Surrogate Requirements Under the Oklahoma law, the surrogate must: Be at least twenty-one (21) years of age at the time she enters into the gestational agreement; Have given birth to at least one child; Have been a resident of Oklahoma for at least ninety (90) consecutive days immediately preceding the date she enters into the gestational agreement, unless one or more intended parent has been a resident of Oklahoma for at least ninety (90) consecutive days immediately preceding the date the gestational carrier enters into the agreement; Have completed a physical medical evaluation relating to the anticipated pregnancy; and Have completed a mental health consultation. If a surrogate has a partner but is not married, the partner does not need necessarily to join the surrogacy agreement. Intended Parent Requirements Meanwhile, the Oklahoma statute requires that the Intended Parents: Have a declaration from a doctor that one or more intended parent is unable to carry a pregnancy to term and give birth to a child or is unable to carry a pregnancy to term and give birth to a child without unreasonable risk to the intended parent's physical or mental health or to the health of the unborn child; Have made guardianship provisions for the prospective child by amending their existing estate planning documents or by executing estate planning documents containing such provisions if they previously had no existing estate planning documents. Completed a mental health consultation. The state also requires if there are two intended parents, they must be married to each other. The possible intended parent situations are: a single intended parent who is genetically related to the child, married heterosexual, and married same-sex IPs using their own egg/sperm. Legal Procedure in Oklahoma Subsequently, a Validation Order needs to be obtained by the attorneys before the embryo transfer. The administration of hormones or medications to aid in the production or vitality of gametes may begin before the Agreement is validated. For good cause shown, a court may validate a gestational carrier agreement even if it was not validated at the time of transfer of gametes or embryos to the carrier, for the purpose of conception or implantation, and provided that the court finds that all other requirements need to validate a gestational agreement under this act have been satisfied. Upon the birth of a child, if the agreement is validated, the intended parent shall be declared the sole legal parent of the child, be listed as the parent on the child's certificate of birth that is to be filed with the state registrar of vital statistics as provided by Oklahoma law, and neither the gestational carrier nor any spouse of the gestational carrier, if she becomes married prior to or within 270 days after the birth of the child, shall be listed on said certificate of birth. Intended parent shall also be declared to have the right to immediate custody of and access to the child upon birth, the right to name the child, the right to make all health care decisions regarding the child upon birth, and the right to be designated as the person to be issued armbands or other security devices identifying them as the parent of such child. After birth, the intended parent(s) shall file a notice of birth with the court in as reasonably timely a manner as possible after the birth of the child or in compliance with local Court rules. To terminate a gestational surrogacy agreement, Oklahoma provides that: Any of the parties to a validated gestational agreement may seek to terminate the gestational agreement by first giving written notice of termination of the gestational agreement to each other party to the gestational agreement. A person who sends the notice to terminate a validated gestational agreement shall file notice of the termination with the appropriate court. Notwithstanding anything in this act to the contrary, within one (1) year of the termination of a gestational agreement, whether validated or not, any party to the gestational agreement may file a written petition with the court that terminated a gestational agreement seeking to reinstate the gestational agreement and requesting the court validate the gestational agreement. Be sure to consult with a lawyer who specializes in surrogacy law so that you can ensure a smooth contract and parentage process. The attorneys of Tsong Law Group are experts in the areas of gamete donation and surrogacy and licensed in Oklahoma, California, Illinois, New York, Washington, and Arizona. Contact us now if you need assistance. This article is for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon without additional research or consulting an attorney. This article is not legal advice and does not create an attorney-client relationship with the reader.

The Halloween countdown has begun, and this tradition cannot be completed without a good horror film marathon. There are many great scary movies out there, but this time around, we're reaching for something less familiar in the horror film genre. Released in 2022, the Australian paranormal horror film "Surrogate" stars KestieMorassi as Natalie, who plays a single mother and nurse. As a single parent, she heavily relies on her own mother, Anna, and her brother William to help raise their daughter, Rose. The movie begins with the family celebrating Rose's ninth birthday. After the celebration, the movie shows the routine between the two, where Natalie reassures her daughter that monsters are not real every time she's asked to check for them around her room. Working as a nurse, Natalie had an unfortunate encounter that intensified the movie. While going home from her night shift, she came across a woman who appeared to be disturbed and had consumed toxic liquids. Natalie tried to revive her, but she couldn't. Natalie immediately started vomiting, as if she were pregnant. The symptoms continued to develop, and she woke up one day with blood from her waist down, as though she had given birth. When she was brought to the hospital, the agent from the Department of Child and Family Services and her doctor told her that she was pregnant and had done something terrible to the baby, even threatening her with criminal charges. Natalie argued that she had not given birth to a child and that it was not even possible for her to get pregnant. This explanation did not sit well with the doctors and the representative from the department. The stress even grew as her daughter Rose was affected by all the supernatural elements. Now the movie is on the journey to answer how Natalie became pregnant and where the supernatural elements were coming from. How realistic is the portrayal of surrogacy including the legal aspects? Despite the title, the movie is not really about surrogacy any more than Rosemary’s Baby can be considered a surrogacy movie. There is no contract between intended parents and Natalie, or any sort of parental rights being established. There are no supernatural lawyers in the movie either. The title "Surrogate" merely reflects the central theme of the movie. Conclusion Although surrogacy may not be the subject matter, the movie still delivered an impact and overall portrayed a well-told story that is worth watching. The movie is well executed and scored. If you're a wimp when it comes to horror, it won't scare or gross you out. There might be a jump scare but otherwise it's atmospheric and dreadful. The story also succeeded in incorporating mystery and thriller elements. Overall, as an indie film, it stands out enough to be worth watching this Halloween. So, bust out the popcorn or some homemade Halloween snacks and get ready to watch this movie. "Surrogate" is currently available on Amazon Video, Tubi, and Google TV. If you are looking for a peer rated super lawyer for your surrogacy rather than a supernatural lawyer, look no further and contact us now.

White Lilies is a harlequin romance surrogacy novel that unfolds a compelling narrative exploring the profound impact of surrogacy and the enduring strength of friendship amid life’s challenges. Skylar Mitchell, the main character, yearns for a meaningful change in her life. One thing she has always been certain of is that she never wants to have children of her own. She even jokes about being a surrogate, a selfless move that seems like an out-of-character life decision. In a fortuitous encounter, Skylar connects with Griffin and Erin Pearce, a couple who seem to have it all — a perfect life and a perfect home but sadly cannot have children through traditional means. As Skylar offers to become their surrogate, she finds herself falling in love with Griffin while becoming best friends with Erin. Unconditional love, heart-wrenching loss, and unwavering friendship form the bedrock of this story. Skylar’s choices will test the bonds that tie her to Erin and Griffin, ultimately leading them all on a journey of self-discovery and transformation. Legal and Scientific Realism   A  genetic (also known as traditional) surrogate  is when the surrogate uses her own egg and the father’s sperm, making the surrogate genetically related to the child.  The main character becomes a genetic surrogate, which is not legal in New York  if the surrogate is compensated. Skyler was compensated with expensive shopping trips and other financial gifts for being a surrogate, from the Intended Parents. While these may be considered gifts, this is legally problematic.   The parties entered into the arrangement without the usual psychological, medical or legal clearance steps. The Intended Parents chose Skylar to become their surrogate despite her never having children despite this being a best practice (also required in New York with gestational surrogacy), even more so with a genetic surrogate.    Skylar did not have a lawyer representing her to review the surrogacy agreement or at any time during the process. It’s unclear how the insemination took place, or what legal plan the intended parents had to establish parentage rights for the child, whether by adoption, passing off the child as theirs or through a proper parentage action.   It is doubtful that any surrogacy professionals were consulted so that more realistic elements could have made the story. It’s unfortunate, because adding some legal realism wouldn’t necessarily take away from the main storyline. Readers seeking a more realistic portrayal of surrogacy will find the novel’s deviation from legal correctness a notable drawback. Conclusion   Despite its engaging exploration of the daily interactions of a surrogate and her intended parents, this reader is left with mixed feelings, prompting a three out of five-star rating for entertainment but zero out of five stars for accuracy. The novel fell short in character development as it primarily showcased Skylar’s budding romantic feelings. A more comprehensive understanding of backgrounds, motivations, and relationships would have enriched the narrative, while a better understanding of the surrogacy process would have added authenticity.     Disclaimer: This book is a bodice ripper, meaning it is for adults only and offers a fantasy depiction of surrogacy which is for entertainment purposes only. The portrayal is imaginative if not outlandish, not reflective of most surrogacy journeys. The work aims to present a creative narrative but still manages to provide some insights into surrogacy from a surrogate’s perspective.   For more information on surrogacy, feel free to contact us now.